Could I continue in this poly relationship without a nesting partner of my own? Did I actually even want one? So, I had to confront the importance of that term I’d seen on his profile. And although Jim’s satellite partners had largely left his orbit, he informed me that his nesting partner would not. I found myself vertiginously in love with Jim while newly alone in the house I’d shared with my ex. My own nesting partner had taken flight, but not without messing up my nest first.Ī situation that started out balanced and compartmentalized suddenly wasn’t. In a fit of coffee-throwing, picture-smashing, expletive-hurling rage, Thomas broke up with me. And the stress of the pandemic annealed our relationship while combusting mine and Thomas’s.īecause every time I went out with Jim, Thomas found a reason to get angry. I just wanted someone, outside of my relationship with Thomas, to peg once a week or so. I gathered Jim had a lot of relationships to sustain - he sounded close to being what the books called “polysaturated” - but I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I’d dated my live-in boyfriend, Thomas, for seven years. That was a lot of poly jargon for me to process. Jim’s dating profile said he was polyamorous, genderfluid, and pansexual, with a “non-romantic nesting partner” as well as “satellite partners.” I first saw the term “nesting partner” - a term used for a live-in partner in poly relationships - in early 2020, when the world was unknowingly teetering on the brink of disaster and rebirth.
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